At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am available for nakedness
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize