My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
