Sponge bath it is.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
