My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
