my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
