they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
