I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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