Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
