Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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