We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
