he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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