I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
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