Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
