well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
