He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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