Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
