I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
