Its about making memories worth repressing
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
