with your own penis?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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