it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
