so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
