He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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