She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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