You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
