Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
