Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
