i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
