I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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