Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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