So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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