I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
