I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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