You don't have asthma, your pregnant
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
