Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
wow bdsm is so cute
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
