how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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