Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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