so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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