I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They left me at home... I'm a liability
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
