The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
