so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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