i don't like sucking hair
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
