nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
