How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
