ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
