.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
