wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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