Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
