Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
