We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
