I CAN MOONWALK!
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
