Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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