The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Randomize
